memory

"you don't have to hold on to the pain, to hold on to the memory"

...that's the first line i heard after waking up earlier...i forgot to shutdown Tonio (i was charging it) and iTunes was on shuffle mode...the line hit me for a while and made me wonder when was the last time i felt pain - emotionally (the physical ones come more often being the clumsy me) i guess it's been quite a while :)

...i didn't ponder on that thought for too long...Tonio played Spinning Around by Kylie which made me instantly awake...and yeah i was dancing my way to take a shower..

...time to grab some coffee and chill :)

chill...while i still can

...i'm back to my usual private place (good thing it's still not crowded and i hope it will stay this way)...this spot gives me a lot of time to think about things...i need a game plan before the year ends so i can kick the new year off to a good start...so far, i've been blessed and i'm more than thankful for whatever i have right now (it was more than what i asked for - but then again, im human, and i;m starting to crave for something more)...

...i got new challenges work-wise and i think that it is a very very good thing....it's something that would take me out of my comfort zone and would push me to the limits...i need to know how fast can i learn new stuff and how to be good at 'em...i need to know what my tolerance is to criticism and bad feedback if i screw things up (i mostly live by praises from other people which gives me the drive to be always better - almost perfect)...if committing mistakes be the fastest way for me to learn then so be it...i'm up for the game...

...but as of now, i'm gonna spend as much time with myself...chill more...and relax for a while because by next week, it's going to be one hell of a ride :)



...lovely art stuff at the back no? hhehehe

long weekend

...spent much of my time rebuilding my ipod playlists and loadin' up some new videos (Britney's "Womanizer" video is currently in my auto-repeat mode...it reminds me much of "Toxic" when Britney was still super hotness)...

...it's going to be a long weekend for me..thanks for Columbus Day i won't be working until Tuesday yey! more time to hibernate and to do something else...i need to take care of important stuff and sort things out over this weekend

...my OM is away for a weekend vacay...and i got to play hehehe



***hush hush

woosa!

...i wonder why some people just can't get it right...

...this is my mantra for this week that will keep me from lashing out

"not everyone can be as informed and as experienced as you are and it's not always their fault. so cut people some slack when they frustrate you with their questions. they are just working at their own pace and abilities and they are doing their best...you can't fault them if their best isn't good enough for you"

...i need more patience until the week ends

...if it's the same shit by next week then i'll go ballistic

back to cee-boo

...just landed and i badly need a shower...and to top that, i'll go straight to work (i'll be awake for another 9 hours)

...i'l go on hibernate mode tomorrow and will wake up craving for some home made cheesecake :)

happy today

....never felt this good in a long long time

...i'm happy...just happy

...gotta get back to work and finish early...got a plane to catch later :)

...retail therapy coming up...Tyler's on the top of the list

just because

...while meeting for a meeting i got super bored and got the cam from my Macbook working



...i need a better headshot

...it's Sunday morning...time for a bowl of Muesli and reruns of Pushing Daisies :)

dead...for a while

...this is how the weather looks like most of the time outside



...gloomy and ironically comforting for me...i'd be in blogging hibernation one more time...i'll shut up till i get somethin' interesting to talk about

on manning lines and queues

...i was back to working on a Saturday night (something i haven't done for more than a year now) though it's gonna be only for this week...what's disappointing was it turned out i was the only TL who's scheduled for the entire shift...

...as expected, i did the one man/woman show hehehe...it felt refreshing though doing soemthing you haven't done for a long time...i was manning a whole shift, calling out the shots on who's going in, who's out , when they can take breaks or not...it's like handling a fragile Lego toy with you being so careful for it not to fall apart

...much like on real life, it's all about the perfect timing...knowing when to call the right shots, knowing when to let go and knowing when to give up

...oh well, at least i get to attend a friend's birthday party later...carbo overload and then some :)

..enjoy the rest of your weekend, i just did mine...working :)

nosebleed

...i was having a nosebleed earlier when i was on the way to the office..literally! worst thing is i didn't have any tissue to wipe the blood off my hands...bit morbid...and i was wearing my white jacket to make the situation more difficult



...the nosebleed moment continued till lunchtime, i was given excess tissue while having lunch at Shakeys...weird thing is i couldn't find any reason why i was having a nosebleed...maybe i'm starting to see the after effects of staying too long in a call center environment hehehe

guilty pleasure and SSB

...what's your guilty pleasure?...something that you really enjoy yet at the same time you don't want anyone else to find out about it...either it's quite embarassing or maybe it's quite something taboo to others that you'd rather keep it to yourself...

...i remember watching one episode of Sex and the City where Carrie Bradshaw was talking about each of us having our own SSB (Single Secret Behavior)...it could be from the simple biting of nails instead of using your good 'ole nailcutter or binging Oreos while watching your favorite porn by midnight - whatever it is...it all boils down to one thing...they gave us the pleasure and at the same time letting go of any inhibitions while doing it (these would most likely apply to our best kept secret erotic fantasy hehehe)...

...well, i got lots of SSB actually, 2 of my closest friends already know about it, but there's one that i think is pretty normal and something that i did earlier which led me to writing this piece...it's doing a marathon of watching super cheesy Tagalog films...think of "Kailangan Kita", "When Love Begins", "My Big Love" (which i just enjoyed earlier hehehe) and all of those Ai-Ai's slapstick comedies and you'll know what i'm talking about...hehehe...



...the only reason why i had it considered SSB is that most of my friends don't really know that i'm the type who digs for these corny stuff (or at least i think)...but there, now you know it, i spilled...so if in case you have a copy of some of the Tagalog flicks shown lately that i might have missed then let me know and for sure you'll put on a big smile on my face :)

..."Caregiver" anyone? hehehe

something to remember

my mom was here in the city for a day to give me a visit...we had the usual mom-son date but somethin' happened which i think will make her visit something to remember, well at least for a while...every mom has this habit on trying to organize their son's room even if were ok with the current state their in and she happened to make her way arranging my bedside table...



i was as red as a beet and was too embarrass when my mom sorted my CD collection and found discs of gay porn in all of their naked glory stacked between piled audio discs....that moment felt like i'm caught jackin' off/shaggin someone red handed hehehe...good thing she's always the type who doesn't ask questions and she just pretended like she was arranging Mariah's discs like nothing happened...hehehe

...on the bright side, my table's in order now :)

just because...he had it coming

...i was having my iPod in full shuffle mode when it played something i haven't heard in years...i didn't even know i had it in one of my playlists...brought back random memories and i must say this is one of those songs you wouldn't mind playing for one more time



Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Wilbur,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times.."

...that's my fave part from the "Cell Block Tango" off the Chicago soundtrack...which led me to ask...would you be doin' the same thing they did if you were in the same situation?

...would you also be singing "he had it coming"?

...thoughts :)

i love you

...i had a haircut earlier and got a new hair color....while waiting for the hair color to get done, i saw a guy right across from me whispering "i love you" to the girl 2 seats away from my side which was his girlfriend...catching that act made me felt happy for that moment...happy for them, happy for other people in love hehehe...at least i know i'm not bitter with love :)

...cheesy stuff yah know...hahay :)

got to make the move

...i'm once again back to work and i got to make BIG decisions about my career...moving on to something different and getting out of my comfort zone would be quite risky but i'm hoping it will be for the better...everything requires perfect timing and of course a little stroke of luck to get to a place that i need to be with work..

...i'm still a bit disoriented and still in the process of catching up with things but i'm definitely sure that i'll be able to get this worked out before this shift ends..

...surprisingly, i'm now feeling sleepy (even with a grande soy latte from Starbs by my side)...this is my usual bed time when i was on vacation...gotta make another body clock change again

...welcome me back to the call center world :)

bittersweet and goodbyes

...i'm smiling for a special reason and even singing for it (my blog stalking paid off)

...hahahah....at the end - i'll have the last laugh

...it felt sooo good it's unhealthy

...moral of the story for you (yeah you!...you know who you are) - don't take a person for granted specially when he's at his best coz you don't know what you've got till it's gone :)


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...and as usual, i'm the worst person when it comes to goodbyes...i still don't know how to handle such situations...i may have started my stint here in Clark in the wrong foot specially with the team leads, but i guess i did just fine with the agents...they've given me such a great experience the whole time i was here and that's something i'll be taking with me to Cebu :)

...they've made something as a sendoff gift - though it's not yet finished, they'll have it sent out in the mail by next week...stuff like this, no matter how simple sometimes can be the best thing you can ever wish for - because you know that the effort given was something from the heart and is genuine

...'m getting all cheesy but true :)

...Subic here i come :)

...time to hit the beach

high school orgasm

...turned out my homecoming ain't going to be final until later this morning...please dear Lord spare me from this place....and while waiting, i dug up something that brought me multiple orgasms way back high school hahaha



...let's all enjoy these guys for one more time :)

get off your high horse bitch!

...ever been in a situation where it felt so awkward and you're so out of place that you'd rather want the earth to open and swallow you whole than be stuck in the moment? that's what i felt earlier when i went out for a dinner/meeting with some people i've been working with for more than 3 months now

...sometimes you just have to accept the fact that no matter what effort you put in trying to please other people it just wouldn't work...they just literally shut you off everytime you try...you don't know if they're just being resistant with what you're trying to teach them and afraid that you'll push them out of their comfort zone or they just don't like you as a person - i wish it wouldn't be the latter...it's a conscious effort for me to be extremely nice here and i just wished that they see that effort, even just for a little bit

...i'm ranting again, all i want to do now is go back to Cebu and do the normal stuff that i do with work - a kind of work that i think i'm really good at (no bragging intended)...but i still wish that before i'll get back to Cebu, i can tell someone this:

Get off your high horse bitch!!!

...i would be happier :)

pain!

...boredom strikes back :)

...and ow, i checked the loal Odyssey store earlier, they still don't have the new Mariah album (how 3rd world)...depressing

the art of liquidation

...i just spent the last 3 hours going through receipts, playing hide and seek with OR numbers to get reimbursement - and it was actually fun...when i was done i realized i did quite an impressive job in keeping my expenses at a low for the last 2months (30k+ for 2 months is not bad at all) clap clap :)



...we'll not having Starbucks on a daily basis really paid off - if only that new Starbs will open anytime soon i'll be happier

...now time to finish this and get paid :)

...and just about random stuff while browsing the net...this is probably one of the most shocking headlines for me ever!

***Dad Gets 25 Years for Microwaving Baby***

"His daughter Ana's foster mother fought back tears as she detailed how after being injured, the girl's left hand was so burned that there was no skin, no muscle, no fat, only tendon and bone.

Ana suffered second- and third-degree burns to her left ear, cheek, hand and shoulder and has required several skin grafts. Part of her left ear had to be amputated.

Jurors had rejected Mauldin's claim he was insane at the time he put his then-2-month-old daughter in a Galveston hotel-room microwave and turned it on for 10 to 20 seconds. They convicted him Tuesday of felony injury to a child."

...this is just super sick! poor lil' baby